What Mentoring Has Given Me
Mentoring young men matters deeply to me because identity is not accidental. It is formed through guidance, challenge, and the choices we make when things get difficult.
Young men are not meant to drift, they are meant to be shaped, challenged, and encouraged to learn about themselves.
I want the men I work with to understand that vulnerability is strength, that anger must be mastered rather than buried, and that leadership begins with self-awareness.
They should not feel pressure to pretend they are fine when they are not. They should know they do not have to carry weight of their world alone.
What moves me about Daragh Fleming’s poem is his vision of the kind of men he hopes to raise, whether as a father or as a mentor, men who are steady, honest, disciplined, and kind.
If I can help even a few of my young brothers grow into that kind of strength, then the investment of time, energy, and heart is worth it.
-Dan Reagan ‘82
Daragh Fleming -Is a writer and poet from Cork, Ireland, known for his clear, honest work on emotion, growth, and mental health.
If I ever have boys, they'll be dangerous men
They'll smile at dogs and children and be a tonic to friends
They'll send flowers to their mother just because
They'll be a shoulder for many when the world is too much
My boys will know that vulnerability is strength
They won't bottle anger, they’ll learn how to express
They won't let pride be the reason they hide, wearing masks while they're hurting inside
My boys will be dangerous man
They won’t stay silent even when it's uncomfortable for them
They’ll learn that their actions are more effective than words
They'll use their voices to amplify the unheard
They’ll know that loves is not something to perform
They’ll see beauty in all of its forms
My boys won't grow learning to emotionally hide
They'll reshape masculinity into something they like, make it softer to touch
They’ll know that who they are is more than enough
They’ll know that being a man doesn't mean carrying the burden alone
They'll learned an emotional man is a man fully grown
They won't settle everything with violent swings
They’ll live in truth even when that truth stings
So yeah, if I ever have boys, they’ll be dangerous men
But the danger they'll be, won't be the one society meant